What is a “Bear”?

Along the same lines as my “What is a ‘Twink’?” post from 15 months ago, the question of “What is a ‘Bear’?” came up via the comic Blur the Lines on January 19.

A bear is (select at least two):

• Large Bodied (could be either Heavyset or Muscled)
• Hairy
• Bearded

And thus:

• Big hairy guy, clean shaven?  Bear
• Beard and fur, but slim?  Bear
• Bodybuilder with a beard?  Bear
• Fat guy without either much hair or beard?  Not Bear

Cub (young bear), Otter (thin bear), Wolf (medium bear, or loner bear, or agressive), Pocket Bear (short bear), Kuma (Asian bear) — all variations on a theme.  If you want to slice and dice the labelling, go for it.

As for “Behr”: when the Bear Code was put together 20+ years ago, this meant “Bear with a moustache but not a beard”. Another sometimes useful variation on the theme.

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You can see that the Natural Bears Classification System does indeed have an “h” for “the BEHR factor”, for moustaches.

Unaddressed in that is the question of what we call someone who sure looks like a Bear, but who is adamant about not being one.  (I vote for “Traitor”.)

My Bear Code: B3h f t dc k+ s+ e+ q  (“B3h” indicates a B3 beard with a standout moustache.)