Tuesday, October 26, 2010

What is “Gear”?

A few months ago, Leatherpost.com started sponsoring a monthly Gear Night at the Cuff Complex.  This is by no means the first use of the term “gear,” but what does it really mean?  What constitutes or qualifies and “gear” and what does not?

The first uses of the term “gear” that I encountered were in the rubber community, as an expansion of that fetish to include sports gear — jock straps, football shoulder pads, cleated shoes, and so.  (Why expand rubber — which already included two major subgroups of tight latex and thick industrial rubber — with the seemingly unrelated genre of sports gear?  Heck if I know.  Maybe there's a connection via spandex?)

By extension, “gear” would also cover the tools and the accessories attached with other fetishized professions, especially firemen but also medical, police, construction, and so forth.  We certainly have seen an increase in fire fighter pants and boots (and gas masks) in recent years.

And thus, we can come around to an actual definition:
“Gear” is all the fetish clothing and equipment which we accept into the greater “leather community” (and that's a whole 'nother definition) which isn't leather, uniform, or rubber.  “Gear” is the “Etc.”, the “E” in “L.U.R.E.”
Under this definition, note that traditional leathers — pants, chaps, shirts, vests, harnesses, etc. — are not “gear”.  Tight shiny latex or hip boots and surf suits — not “gear”.  Police or military uniforms or cammo — not gear.

            Cowboys (and Indians)
                    Puppy and Pony Play
… that's “gear”.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Misadventures: Cancel the Three-Way

So after chatting back and forth with this hot guy for a few weeks, we finally set things up for a kink-filled three-way with me, him, and his partner.  I unlocked my pics for his other half. We discussed time, play activities, what play supplies and toys I would bring, the sling, the hot tub, beer and other beverages, and so on.

I got detailed directions to their place, out in East Bumfuck — seriously, an hour’s drive, and I was going to go there on a Tuesday night.  We’re talking I was looking forward to a hot session!

Then late this morning (day of the play session), I got these texts:
Mind giving me a ring?  I need to cancel.  Not the right time.

Have to say no for best ting for my relationship.  Sorry to waste your time.  Thought we were there.  Best, xxxxx.  Please call if u would like to speak versus txt
Fuck.  (Or “not fuck”, actually.)  You can read between the lines on that one.  I imagine a discussion like this:
How come you’re so frisky this morning?

Just thinking about how hot tonight’s going to be.


Really looking forward to getting that guy from Seattle in the sling.  We’re going to have a fucking hot time.

Oh you are, are you?  And you were going to tell me about this when?


I really thought we had a good relationship here, but apparently you need to go setting up fuck sessions with tricks from the internet, and then you rub my face in it!

What are you talking about? I told you about him last week.  You said “Sounds hot” and told me to set something up!
(and cue escalating screaming match from there)

Or perhaps it was nothing more than morning-of cold feet from the boyfriend, something he thought he was ready to pursue a week ago, but really wasn’t.  Not my place to ask.  Whatever the case, there was obviously need for a touch more extended communication in that relationship before pursuing something like this.

(Sometimes that’s the reason for living in East Bumfuck: keeping the leash on more easily.)

Updated on October 26, 2010
Last week, I heard from the guy and we tried setting things up again.  This time, I played with him and his other half had someone else over as well.  There was some interaction between the four of us, but mostly two couples in two different rooms.

I didn't ask for details on what had gone sour the first time, but it seems it was ultimately less drama than I had expected.