I dreamt that I was pregnant (but still male!) and about to give birth. My boyfriend and I were riding through San Francisco on a scooter, heading for the hospital, and we were running out of gas.I think we won the case.
We didn’t make it to the hospital, but rolled to a stop in front of a Catholic church, which had some sort of medical services in the basement. They were willing to take me in for the birth of the baby, but they wrote up a bill ahead of time, with charges of $2800 — because I wasn’t Catholic! (Being a pregnant gay guy didn't seem to enter into it.)
I screamed “Fuck you!” at them over and over, and we stormed out of the church basement. My boyfriend then called an ambulance. (Dream logic says not to worry about why we didn’t do that earlier.) The medics were hesitant to take me to the hospital, though, because saying “Fuck you&rdquo to someone was legally the equivalent of attempted assassination.
We ended up suing over that, arguing that since the Supreme Court had ruled in the FCC case earlier this year that the word “Fuck&rdquo could not be separated from its procreative origins, and since procreation is the opposite of killing, “Fuck you&rdquo could not legally be the equivalent of attempted assassination. At worst, it could only be considered attempted rape.
Updated on February 1, 2010