Showing posts with label Ass d'Jour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ass d'Jour. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Online Ass d’Jour: Get a New Pic

Date: March 24, 2013 / Place: Seattle, WA / Service: Scruff

This one doesn’t quite count as an Ass.  The only thing wrong is in what is being presented, not how.  If you must use as pic that is older than the service you are posting it on, remove the date.  Let us pretend that it is a current photo.

We have all seen pics on guys profiles which we knew were not current.  My own favorite brand of this is when you can see the film grain, so you know it is a scanned photograph (and thus at least 10 or more years old).  There is one guy I have seen online in Portland a few times who has pictures in this profile which, based on hair and clothing styles, are at least 25 years old.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Online Ass d’Jour: GPS (Gets Pissy Soon)

Date: November 18, 2012 / Place: Seattle, WA / Service: AssPig

Damn, but I hate it when people depend purely on GPS to get where they are going and copy the address in wrong, ignoring all other directions you give them which might clue them that they are totally on the wrong route!

This guy ended up in West Seattle (15+ min away) because he left off the direction character and his GPS sent him to “Ave SW” instead of “Ave S”.  That itself is bad enough (and tells me that GPS itself is problematic), but then he calls, pissed at me as though this were my fault, and says I can come meet him at his place instead, because he has “wasted enough of [my] valuable time”.

I declined.  Once they’re in a pissed-off, state, you don’t want to do much of anything with them.

Adding insult to injury, he then texted me a few minutes later, saying “Please don’t ever contact me again thank u”.  No worries, guy.

(The guy is in recovery and was at an AA or NA meeting shortly before this.  I’ll file that info away for later — not that being in recovery is the problem, but going right from AA/NA meetings to a play session might not be a good idea.  Make sure there is more of a buffer.)


Update: A few hours later, the guy contacted me again in a much calmer mood.  Not really apologetic, but at least not hating on me anymore and again open to playing at some point.  It has not happened yet — and most recently, he got a bit pissy again when I wouldn’t take Thursday afternoon off to play with him because if we played later when it was easier for me, he would have to take Friday morning off.

I think he’s a bit too high maintenance for my tastes.  There are enough of fish in the Seattle sea that I don’t need to work with his issues.  If it happens someday, we will play, but I am not pursuing it hard on my side.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Online Ass d’Jour: here is slave boy

Date: May 23, 2012 / Place: Seattle, WA / Service: Mister

I'm all for eager boys who go after what they want, but this one went a bit overboard…

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Online Ass d’Jour: Don’t Bring Me Down

Date: April 8, 2012 / Place: Vancouver, BC / Service: Grindr

I'll just let this one’s screencap speak for itself.  You’ll notice the classic “Hello” and “Fine” non-committal replies, indicating “I looked at your profile, or lack of same, and I’m already not interested, but I’ll go through the polite niceties for a couple exchanges anyway.”


The last thing I want at 2:15 am is for someone on a hookup site to tell me he is depressed.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Online Ass d’Jour: I’ll Tell You What I Want, I Want What You Want

Date: March 29, 2012 / Place: San Francisco, CA / Service: Mister

A guy hit me up on MR (the mobile app version of DaddyHunt).  His profile was sparse — a single pic of him in a leather vest, and text that read something like “Ready for hot MANSEX.  Always ready” — but certainly no sparser than many guys online.  (That’s a whole other blog post!)

His initial message said:
u r visitin so prob too busy to play?
Um, no.  I’m on a cruise site, aren’t I?  Admittedly, some guys are on there with no intent to play, or not to play now (i.e., hoping to set things up for later).  It was Thursday night, so indeed, setting things up for the weekend was one of my goals.  (The other was getting laid on Thursday.)  But if you start off all your communications saying “I know you probably don’t want to play,” it’s little wonder if you don’t get many takers.

Here’s our entire exchange:

In contrast to his sparse profile, mine is a couple paragraphs long, giving my stats and preferred fetishes and activities, enough for someone to read (hopefully without overwhelming them) to get a good handle on what I would like to do in sex play.  There is no excuse for someone to hit me up and not know what I’m looking for.

He then sent one final message and blocked me.  (Of course, blocking someone this way means they get notified of your final “Fuck you” message but don’t get to read it, so it’s kind of a wasted effort.)

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Online Ass d’Jour: Never Put Off Until Tomorrow When You Can Be An Ass Today

Date: December 25, 2011 / Place: Palm Springs, CA / Service: Scruff

I was at the Sunday beer bust at the Barracks when this exchange occurred.  I’ve [corrected] a couple typos below, but left other wording and capitalization as-written from both of us.

Him: Want to stop by my place for a good breeding?

Me: No, thanks

(3 hours pass)

Him: How long in town for?
Him: Want your cock sucked off?

Me: Later, maybe

Him: Wow such attitude as if you had so many options out there man
Him: One would think if mr right was [out there] for you you would already have found him
Him: Good luck

Me: Sorry, fuckhead. I'm out somewhere that a BJ isn't what I'm after. Obviously should have blocked you at "breed".

Him: Sad
Him: All those hankies and all the colors in the rainbow how is anyone suppose to guess what you don't get into! Sad soul of Xmas
Him: So I can shit on your face but no bj? Lmao!!!

Me: No, you just can't have/give a blowjob *NOW*. What part of "later, maybe" was so hard for you?

Monday, January 23, 2012

Online Ass d’Jour: Get Real

Date: January 14, 2012 / Place: Washington DC / Service: Bear411

Him: might want to upgrade the scooter to a real cycle. the whole image is a little funny when you read your profile and then see you on a scooter. Hardcore profile and then a pussy scooter. lol

Me: How about you be less of an asshole?

Him: I wasn't being an asshole. Your description just doesn't match a scooter. pose with a real cycle and it will boost the cred in your profile description.

Me: If you're judging by what I ride rather than who I am, you're being an asshole. Using the phrase "real cycle" reinforces that.



For purposes of illustration, here is the pic in question; I did upgrade to a larger bike (but still a scooter) last April:

You can read more about my multi-thousands of miles ridden on that scooter in this post.  And a long trip to Vancuover.  And one to Portland.

My “pussy” scooter has done more than most “real” cycles.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Online Ass d'Jour: Why Thank You

As a follow-up to my recent item on unsolicited photo spamming on cruise sites, this LOLCat pic showed up this week.  Sums things up pretty well, I’d say:

Monday, August 29, 2011

Online Ass d'Jour: 5000 Words and Counting

Date: August 14, 2011 / Place: Las Vegas / Service: Grindr

I noticed that there was a message badge on the pic of a guy I had not been conversing with yet.. So I tapped the pic to view the message.

Him: (sends picture)
Him: (sends picture)
Him: (sends picture)
Me: (start to look at the first one)
Him: (sends another picture)

(Jesus Christ, at least say “Hello” first.  Or maybe “Hello, want to see naughty pics of me?”  And wait for me to say yes.)

Him: (sends another picture)
Me: (block)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Online Ass d'Jour: Rubbers? What rubbers?

Date: August 13, 2011 / Place: Las Vegas / Service: Scruff

Me: What kind of of hot man sex?
Him: Hot pig sex.  More top but love to fuck raw
Me: Got to use a rubber for fucking
Him: Y a rubber for fucking?  Don’t u like to feel a raw cock in ur ass
Me: I’m done here
Him: Done with what?

(Come on, guy.  When someone says they don’t bareback, you don’t push them to.  Period.)

(I refrained from blocking him so I could get a reply. Got one that was semi-apologetic — “OK I will respect that” — but I’m still not going to have sex with him.  No least because I wouldn’t expect him to “respect that”.)

Friday, August 19, 2011

Online Ass d'Jour: Smile When You Say That!

Date: July 10, 2011 / Place: Palm Springs / Service: Adam4Adam

Him: (sent a smile)
Me: (looked at his profile, nothing I was interested in)
Him (a few minutes later): When someone sends a smile, you're supposed to reply.

(Thank you Emily Post.  Here’s my take on smiles, winks, tugs, and pokes.  Short answer: no, you’re supposed to check out the person and then reply only if you have anything to reply about.)

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Online Ass d'Jour: Clothe Thy Naked Self!

Date: July 9, 2011 / Place: Palm Springs / Service: Adam4Adam

Him: Wow
Me: Thanks
Him: Wasn’t a compliment.  You should put a shirt on.

(That’s the pic he saw on my profile.  If he has issues with that pic, how much time does he spend telling guys online to cover up?  Wow indeed.)