Friday, June 18, 2010

If you leave things hanging, a hookup won’t happen
Or…
Apparently being a top means never having to say “Maybe I was wrong”

Prepping for a recent trip out of state, I started poking around the locals on various cruise sites a couple weeks beforehand, to see who was out there and if I could set up a playdate.  After I looked at one guy’s profile — top, into tickling but also into a bunch of other stuff based on the gear mentioned in his profile — he hit me up.  I told him when I was going to be there, and that I was looking to play Friday or Saturday nights.

Four days before I would be there, he left me a note suggesting we play Saturday morning (so I would have the rest of the day free), and he asked if I was ticklish.  He said he didn’t check the site every day, and left his phone number.

I replied that same night that I wasn’t available during the day, was looking for the evening, and indicated that I wasn’t really interested in tickling.  I didn’t expect a reply back for at least a couple days, based on his last message, and when I didn’t hear back by Saturday (5 days), it appeared evident that since I wasn’t available for when and what he wanted, he had simply dropped the conversation.  Miss Manners probably wouldn’t approve, but such behavior is hardly unusual for online cruise site discourse.

Over a week later, he finally sent me a note back and here’s the exchange that ensued.  (I’ve removed all indications of his identity, but left both his and my text as written, with the exception of changing straight quotes to prettier curly ones and the like.)

Him:
Guess you weren’t really interested in meeting.  Provided my phone number to you twice, and yet you never called to try and manage logistics and meeting times.
Me:
No, you provided it once (check your History).  You proposed a time that could not work for me, and frankly, the tickling fetish isn’t what I was after.

While you said you don’t check this daily, the fact that you made no replies after *Monday* implied to me that you weren’t that interested.

So don’t put the entire burden back on me.  “Crossed signals&rdquo is best.

Him:
Gonna disagree here.  You don’t know how I use tickling in a scene…youre scared of some erotic touch?!?!  I gave u my phone number to use…  U didn’t use it.  Pretty simple.  Hope your trip was good but you did drop the ball.
Me:
Look, it’s really simple: your last message on Monday gave me nothing to feed off of.  You basically said “Here’s what I like to do most and when&rdquo (which is great), but I replied “I can’t do it then and I’m not sure that’s what I want to do.&rdquo  And you didn’t respond back for several days.  Why would anyone call someone after four days to set up something in that circumstance?  As the Magic 8-Ball would say, “All signs point to no.&rdquo

Would you have been up for fisting at 10 pm on Saturday, rather than tickling at 10 am?  Where are my clues for that?

If you still think I dropped the ball, the you’re showing that I was right to.  I *could* have called, but I had no incentive to.

Him:
Whatever u need to think to justify your actions.  See… Humans converse.  Had u done the human thing and called you might have learned what u needed.  It’s not my job to “sell” you on an encounter.  I clearly said I don’t use that interface often.  I’ve no shortage of playmates, but I’d say your approach prevented our meeting.  Pure and simple.  And I’ve “incentive&rdquo to chase you.  Might lookup others with whom I played…  That’s why they are listed in my profile.  Once again, u made no effort.  Last MSG from me, uninspired by you, dude.  Your profile led me to believe you were a bit more than you displayed in this encounter.
Me:
Yes, humans converse, and you didn’t.

And it *is* your job to sell me on an enocunter (and mine to sell you).  It goes both ways.

(And then I blocked him, since it sure wasn’t going to get any friendlier after that.)

1 comment:

  1. Waiting until a week AFTER you were no longer in his town, before he followed up with you?

    And without any mention of anything like a family emergency, and then engaging you in that type of dialogue?

    Can you say "passive-aggressive"?

    ReplyDelete